Picture Perfect

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the value of on-camera training as an actor. I focus so much on the theatre aspect of things (I’m from the Midwest… it’s what we do) instead of considering film and television. I’ve never been much of a film person until recently. Especially now that I have Netflix (genius!).

If the graduate program I choose is one that doesn’t include it, I think I’ll have to seek out that training on my own. I think I’m also going to look into training for voice-overs. And possibly acrobatics and aerial dance (not so much because I think I’ll need it… more because it’s SWEET!).

I’ve been told I have a good face for stage (big features, I guess), but I don’t know if it’s the same for film. I mean, I guess it works for Angelina Jolie…

Also, I’m too fat for Hollywood. Not that I think I’m fat… I just think that they’re all unrealistically skinny. I’d be a six-to-eight in a world of zeroes. (Weird to note: I was a zero-to-two a mere year and a half ago… And people were concerned that I might have an eating disorder. For the record, I didn’t. I just had much higher metabolism at the time.)

And they’re all so pretty in Hollywood. So perfect. When’s the last time you saw a lead actress in the movie that couldn’t be described as either “beautiful”, “hot”, “cute”, or “striking”? I wish the way I looked made more of an impression on people. The managers at my old apartment building could never remember me (although they always recognized my roommates), and it became sort of a joke between us how I was so unrecognizable (I suppose they really meant “generic” or “forgettable”). And I’m always being told, “you look so much like a friend of mine.” I’m always being compared to other people. I guess I just have one of those sorts of faces. I wish I looked more… distinctive, I guess. I would love to be “striking”. Like Donna Murphy. Or Uma Thurman.

But anyway. I often extol the virtues of the theatre, fighting on behalf of this art form for which I have such deep passion. I often overlook the other ways I could reach people through acting. If I’m serious about wanting to use acting as my way of changing the world, I think I should really explore all the paths through which I could accomplish that. I shouldn’t limit myself to just one medium.

So who knows. Maybe one day, you’ll see me in pictures.

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My friend Amanda and I went to the AMC Best Picture nominee marathon yesterday. It started at 11am and finished at 11pm, showing the five films nominated for the most coveted Oscar. Are we crazy? Quite possibly. (We actually both saw Juno ahead of time — I saw it Friday night, making it the first time I’ve ever gone to the movie theater alone — so that we could take a two hour dinner break).

Here are my thoughts:

Michael Clayton
Generally good. I personally feel that George Clooney is overrated as an actor, but he was fine here (I just wish there hadn’t been so many close up shots of his face). Tilda Swinton is truly excellent, and I hope she pulls an upset. Tom Wilkinson is also nominated, as a man losing his mind, and he’s fantastic as well (and I’d love to see him beat out Javier Bardem, but I’ll get to that later). The editing and storytelling are good. But I failed to pick up on the importance of one seemingly innocuous detail — a sketch in the margin of a book as it’s being leafed through — and Amanda had to remind me of it when the movie was over (I don’t remember the sketch at all… and the movie makes a ton more sense as a result. My parents had seen the movie, and they didn’t remember it either. Maybe it just wasn’t highlighted well enough). The music was good. It was at times suspenseful. I’d see it again, if only for the sake of clarification.

There Will Be Blood
Yes, there is pay-off for the title. By the end of the movie, there is indeed blood. Daniel Day Lewis shows off a truly grand performance in the corruption and decline of an oil man. Paul Dano isn’t really on equal footing with him, but he’s pretty good. The movie is far too long (three hours, I believe) and the director (Paul T. Anderson) was clearly over-indulgent with his shots. The score was creepy and well done (although it was deemed not eligible for an Oscar nomination). All in all, a good film. But I wouldn’t see it again… Spending three hours of my life with this flick was enough; six would be too many. (By the way, the “I drink your milkshake” line is better in context. And actually really sort of terrifying.)

Atonement
EASILY my favorite. This movie is so good. I thought it was going to be some sappy chick flick, but it’s not. The movie is about a character who observes the love story, as opposed to being about the love story itself (and who would’ve thought I’d love a movie that so prominently featured the C-word?) The acting is excellent (how did James McAvoy not get a nomination? He’s stupendous in this), and I now understand why Saoirse Ryan was nominated (although I don’t think she should win, based on the other nominees in her category). The sound editing/sound mixing/score = superb (sounds in the scenes play into the score in a way that I don’t think I’ve ever experienced in a movie before, with sensational results — How was it not nominated for Sound Mixing or Sound Editing?). The cinematography is incredible (including an extraordinary 5.5 minute tracking shot through a beach at Dunkirk. The whole movie is gorgeous). The editing and storytelling are phenomenal (you see several scenes from more than one point of view, and it unfolds nicely), and there are a couple of scenes where it felt like a “classic” film. And it’s at times suspenseful, causing me to lean forward while literally sitting on the edge of my seat. The costumes are exquisite (including the breath-taking green dress that everyone seems to be talking about). This is the best movie I’ve seen in a long time. As soon as it ended, I wanted to immediately watch it again. Phenomenal. Go see it.

Juno
A delightful little film, although certainly not one that makes you think “Oscar”. Ellen Page is wonderful in it. The writing is extremely stylized and over-the-top, but once you become acclimated to it, it’s fun (if you’re willing to suspend your disbelief). Michael Cera is the same character he always plays, but he’s well-cast, so it didn’t bother me (I haven’t seen any range in him as an actor, but he’s so charmingly dorky that I can’t help but adore him). Allison Janney and Jason Bateman are both great, and I also enjoyed Olivia Thirlby’s performance as Juno’s best friend Leah. I walked out of the theatre with a strange mix of emotions that I couldn’t reconcile. I felt simultaneously lonely, detached from humanity, and maternal. I had a bizarre urge to have a child, but let someone else raise it. I’d see it again. (My favorite line: “Have a condom. They’re boysenberry. My boyfriend uses them every time we have intercourse. They make his junk smell like pie.”)

No Country for Old Men
HATED it. One of the most boring movies that I have EVER seen. Horrible. Javier Bardem won a Golden Globe for his role as a remorseless killer, but he was just okay. The most interesting thing about the movie is a character that’s only in about half the movie (I won’t ruin it for you in case you decide to go against my advice and see it anyway). It was incredibly slow-moving. Woody Harrelson wastes what could’ve been one of the interesting roles in the movie. The ending is completely bland and unsatisfying. There was nothing redeeming about this movie. Nothing. It was terrible. There’s a fair amount of gore and guns, which I guess is why certain male friends of mine seemed to like it. I can’t figure it out. At the end of the movie, I felt gypped. I think that any and all Oscar nominations for this film are wholly unsubstantiated, and will be greatly angered if it wins… anything. And it’s rumored to be a front-runner in several races (God only knows why).

I just got Away from Her via Netflix, so I intend to watch that today (as I’ve heard that Julie Christie is a front-runner in her category).

My only other Oscar comment? I’m rooting for “Falling Slowly” from Once to win for Best Song. You may have noticed it was on my playlist for awhile (and will be again, I’m sure). It’s a gorgeous song that is truly integral to the plot. To be fair, I don’t know any of the other nominated songs… But “Falling Slowly” needs to win. It’s just… lovely.

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My life feels complicated.
Not that such a thing is unusual.
I feel like I’m telling the same stories to people over and over again.
I’m looking for some answer that isn’t there.
Some obvious explanation as to how to solve my problems.
A way to make everything into the way I’d like it to be instead of the way it is.

I keep reflecting on things that have happened.
I’ve replayed events in my mind so much that I can’t recall their original order anymore.
I’ve wondered if I made the right decisions.
I hope that I’m not steering life in the wrong direction.
(And after seeing Atonement, I’m now keenly aware of how misunderstandings and missteps can alter the course of life.)

I hope that I somehow end up away from this.
That years from now, I’ll live a life without confusion.
And without regret.

I hope that I’ll lose this aching pain of loneliness.
I hope I’ll know who I am and what I want.
I hope I’ll find a way to explain myself to others without resorting to typing.
I hope to have things to do and people to see.
I hope to find a base of friends that I can trust.
I hope I’ll be intellectually stimulated on a regular basis.
I hope that I’ll pair off with someone who fits me perfectly, as though it were meant to be.

May the future you picture be one you hope to live in.

~A~

P.S. You may have noticed that my playlist is sort of… missing. Replaced by one song: “Desperately” by Michelle Branch. Perhaps you should listen to it and then help me figure out why it’s been hitting me so hard lately. I don’t know how accurately it reflects my state of being, but it’s tugged on my spirit when I’ve listened to it in recent days. (Don’t worry… the playlist will return to its regularly scheduled programming at some point.)